Shopping For A Turkey
It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the
last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, "Excuse me, do these
turkeys get any bigger?"
"No," he replied, "they're all dead."
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It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the
prisoner who was in the dock, "What are you charged with?"
The prisoner replied, "Doing my Christmas shopping too early."
"That's no crime," said the magistrate. "Just how early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the shop opened," answered the prisoner.