Thursday, January 13, 2011

A Funny - Thoughts To Ponder...

Thoughts to Ponder

* A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
* On the other hand, you have different fingers.
* I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
* 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
* I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
* Honk if you love peace and quiet.
* Remember half the people you know are below average.
* Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
* Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
* The early bird may get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and
drink whatever comes out?"
* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a song about him?
*How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there?
I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its bottom."
* Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
* Can a hearse carrying a body drive in the carpool lane?
* If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
* Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
* Stop singing and read on...
* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?
* Does pushing the elevator button more than once
make it arrive faster?
* Spotted on the back of a t-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad:
"If you see me running, try to keep up."
* Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
* Why don't we ever see this headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
* Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
* Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
* Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
* Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack, anyway?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Can you add any?


  1. Oh, these are hilarious!

    Here are my two favorite:

    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    He who laughs last thinks slowest.

    Valerie, these should all be on T-shirts or bumper stickers!

    Let me see if I can add some more!

    When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

    You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

    If you can't see the bright side of life, you just need to polish the dull side!

    I found a great way to make money. Work!

    I am in my own little world but it's okay they know me here.

    Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.

    Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

    The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

    Hope you enjoyed those, Val, and you all!

    Krissy Knox :)
    blog: Sometimes I Think
    blog URL:
    follow me on twitter:

  2. Oh, those were FAB, sissy! THANKS!!! =)

  3. What goes up must come down, except the cost of living.

    A piece of legislation in Congress is called a Bill. That's because we're going to end up paying for it.

    Baked Alaska



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