Fun and Funny George Carlin Quotes...

Fun and Funny George Carlin Quotes

"Always do whatever's next."

"What's all this stuff about motivation? I say,

if you need motivation, you probably need more than motivation.

You probably need chemical intervention or brain surgery."

"Actually, if you ask me, this country could do with a little

less motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble

seem highly motivated to me."

"One out of every three Americans is suffering from some

form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends.

If they are OK, then it must be you."

"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,

then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low

and settled for very little."

"In comic strips,

the person on the right always speaks first."

"Think off-center."

"Don't make the same mistake twice seems to indicate three

mistakes, doesn't it? First you make the mistake. Then you

make the same mistake. Then you make the same mistake twice.

If you simply say, 'Don't make the same mistake,'

you'll avoid the first mistake, won't you?"

"I'm not into working out.

My philosophy is no pain, no pain."

"I'm in shape. Round is a shape."

"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,

your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."

"The day after tomorrow is the third day of the

rest of your life."