Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Joke - If Bo Derek Married Don Ho...

If Bo Derek Married Don Ho...

* If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

* If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

* If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.

* If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

* If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.

* If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton- John Newton John.

* If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

* If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

* If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

* If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

* How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.

* If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.

* Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Hughes Dare.

* If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

* If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

* If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

* If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then Mr. Lucky, then Martin Short, then football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.

5 comments:

  1. Groan! But I AM grinning!

    Beth

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  2. this was so cute!!! had to laugh at some of the names!!

    thanks Val!

    betty

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  3. Val, these have to be the best "if ___ married ___ " jokes I've seen in ages!!!  So many good ones, would be hard to say which had me laughing the hardest.  Thanks for sharing.

    s.

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  4. IF John Fiddle became a dentist would he be known as Doctor Fiddle DD?

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  5.     Some of those were cute. Some really hurt.
    Jude
    http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

    ReplyDelete

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