Don't Use While Sleeping
Actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dove soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
(The big one or the little one?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on box bottom):
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product willbe hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(And whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction if we just
kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.
(Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Hmm, now I'm curious.)
I love these.
ReplyDeleteI'm reminded of when I tried to assemble a barbecue devise made in Japan. The instructions were in English, but obviously written by someone who didn't know the language and had to rely on a dictionary. Thus I had a step which read "Fasten sinister screw."
In my town there's an elementary/junior high school with a playground and surrounded by a fence. There's a sign on the fence which reads "No trespasing after dark." Curious. If you want to bother the kids you have to do it in the daytime, when they're there.
Thank you DB
these are cute; my husband says a lot of times these things that look like they are silly instructions are because people have tried doing these things so they have to put warnings on the packaging now, too funny though
ReplyDeletebetty
HISTERICAL!!
ReplyDelete