Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Joke - If Bo Derek Married Don Ho...

If Bo Derek Married Don Ho...

* If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

* If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.

* If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.

* If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

* If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.

* If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton- John Newton John.

* If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

* If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.

* If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

* If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.

* How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.

* If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.

* Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Hughes Dare.

* If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

* If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

* If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.

* If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then Mr. Lucky, then Martin Short, then football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly when we heard Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy.


  1. Groan! But I AM grinning!


  2. this was so cute!!! had to laugh at some of the names!!

    thanks Val!


  3. Val, these have to be the best "if ___ married ___ " jokes I've seen in ages!!!  So many good ones, would be hard to say which had me laughing the hardest.  Thanks for sharing.


  4. IF John Fiddle became a dentist would he be known as Doctor Fiddle DD?

  5.     Some of those were cute. Some really hurt.


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