Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Joke - You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee...



You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee When...

* Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.

* You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

* You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

* You sleep with your eyes open.

* You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

* You lick your coffee pot clean.

* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

* The nurse needs a scientific calculator
to take your pulse.

* You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.

* You can jump-start your car without cables.

* Your only sources of nutrition comes
from 'Sweet & Low'.

* You don't sweat - you percolate.

* You've worn out the handle on your
favorite coffee mug.

* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

* You've worn the finish off your coffee table.

* The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.

* Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house.

* You're so wired you pick up FM radio.

* Your life's goal is to 'amount to a hill of beans'.

* Instant coffee takes too long.

* You want to be cremated so you can spend
eternity in a coffee can.

* You name your cats 'Cream' and 'Sugar'.

* Your lips are permanently stuck in the
sipping position.

* Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee
with an I. V. hookup.


4 comments:

  1. I used to csrry a small jar of coffee mixed with sugar in my back pack.
    DB

    ReplyDelete
  2. I only have one cup of coffee in the morning to get my MOJO working! LOL

    Hugggggggggggggggggggs, Rose

    P.S. I was able to leave a comment only if I go directly into the blogger site. It won't allow me to leave a comment via your emails and clicking on the site from there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Funny, sissy, I can leave comments any way I like now, and it works every time! Yay! I don't know what you did, but it works! I don't know if my blog works. I tried to post for two nights in a row, and it wouldn't work. It stated I had both IE8 and IE9 and they weren't compatible. Now just how is THAT possible, LOL? and how did you get your computer configured? could you please helllppp me, LOL? Maybe i can fix this -- I'm trying. The instructions I went to when I googled said I had to get 2 versions of IE9 off (BETA and another one) before having IE8 on there, and to go into where I uninstall and take the 9s off. but there WERE no Microsoft IE9s listed in there! Surely I kid you not! So what is going on? I have worked w these programs -- installing them and uninstalling them b4. I am not stupid. Please helpy me, LOL. thank you, krissy :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. One more thing, Valerie, I believe we can BOTH type 60 wpm w/ our feet, and that is w/o the coffee, LOL! That's not surprising! I don't even drink coffee, and I already do that, LOL. Never mind, don't get me onto that one, bc I'll actually practice and become obsessive about it, with my being prone to OCD, LOLOLOL. Anyway, you and I are both fast w our hands, so I'm sure we could prob do 60 with our feet, as we both know we have done our feet at times, LOL! Yes, I'm a nut for actually telling the world, LOL. I am being so blabby today! But we should share our skills. No, I should get off of here, before I say anything else! Anyway, it doesn't take me coffee to type fast w my hands or w my feet, as i don't even drink coffee, LOL. unless it is a frappucino at starbucks. yes, starbucks does own a piece of me!

    valerie, i am so glad you are doing your precious blog again. now i will get off of it, LOL!

    krissy knox :)
    my main blog: Sometimes I Think
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    ReplyDelete

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