You Know You've Had Too Much Coffee When...
* Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
* You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
* You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
* You sleep with your eyes open.
* You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
* You lick your coffee pot clean.
* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
* The nurse needs a scientific calculator
to take your pulse.
* You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
* You can jump-start your car without cables.
* Your only sources of nutrition comes
from 'Sweet & Low'.
* You don't sweat - you percolate.
* You've worn out the handle on your
favorite coffee mug.
* You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
* You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
* The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
* Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house.
* You're so wired you pick up FM radio.
* Your life's goal is to 'amount to a hill of beans'.
* Instant coffee takes too long.
* You want to be cremated so you can spend
eternity in a coffee can.
* You name your cats 'Cream' and 'Sugar'.
* Your lips are permanently stuck in the
* Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee
with an I. V. hookup.