Over 40 Humor...

The Greatest Benefits of Being Over 40

* Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than

The National Weather Service.

* People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

* You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

* There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

* You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

* You have a party and the neighbors

don't even realize it.

 

* You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

* You quit trying to hold your stomach in,

no matter who walks into the room.

* You sing along with elevator music.

* Your eyes won't get much worse.

* Your investment in health insurance is finally

beginning to pay off.

* * * *

Necessary Information for the

40-and-Older Crowd

* If you're too open-minded,

your brains will fall out.

* Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

* Not one shred of evidence supports the notion

that life is serious.

* For every action, there is an equal and opposite

government program.

* If you look like your passport picture,

you probably need the trip.

* Bills travel through the mail at twice

the speed of checks.

* Men are from earth. Women are from earth.

Deal with it.

* Opportunities always look bigger

going than coming.

* Junk is something you've kept for years and

throw away three weeks before you need it.

* There is always one more imbecile

than you counted on.

* Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

* Someone who thinks logically provides a nice

contrast to the real world.

* It ain't the jeans that make your bottom look big.