Friday, September 16, 2011

More of You Might Be a Redneck If...

More of You Might Be a Redneck If...

* A full tank of gas doubles the value of your truck.
* A woman says she's game, so you shoot her.
* Going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.
* Someone accuses you of lying through your tooth.
* Stealing road signs is a family outing.
* Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.
* The air freshener hanging in your car lost its scent more than
five years ago.
* You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool
Whip on the side.
* The auto junkyard calls you to get spare parts.
* The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
* The most common phrase in your house is "someone go jiggle
the handle."
* The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
* The words Nascar, tire, dog, or shotgun appeared in your
wedding vows.
* There are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.
* There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack
hanging in your truck.
* You attend a parent-teacher conference wearing flip-flops.
* You can entertain yourself for more then an hour with a
fly swatter.
* You clean your house with a water hose.
* You proposed in a Denny's.
* You buy a police scanner to keep up with your relatives.
* You come home from the garbage dump with more than you
went with.
* None of these jokes are making sense to you.

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