Funny Quotes...

10 Best One-Liners

These were taken from Reader's Digest Online:

"Just between you and me, I think 'everything bagels'

are making a lot of promises they can't keep."

- Author Unknown

"I'm coming out with a condensed phone book.

It has only one number in it: 411."

- Craig Sharf

"If the customer is always right,

then why isn't everything free?"

- Myq Kaplan

"When someone tells you that something defies description,

you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway."

- Clyde B. Aster

"Of course I can keep secrets. It's the people I tell

them to who can't keep them."

- Anthony Haden-Guest

"I often wonder about people who live in tropical destinations.

What do their screen savers look like?"

- Derick Lengwenus

"If the people who make motivational posters are so motivated,

why are they still working in a poster factory?"

- Jody Rohlena

"I don't know how to speed read. Instead,

I listen to Books on Tape on fast-forward."

- Craig Sharf

"The nice thing about meditation is that it makes

doing nothing quite respectable."

- Paul Dean

"I got mugged by a magician. It's not funny - He took my wallet,

my watch, and every silver dollar I had behind my ear."

- Craig Baldo