Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"No one who can read has ever been successful at ever
cleaning out an attic."
- Ann Landers
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"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up
is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
- Phyllis Diller
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"The telephone is a good way to talk to people without
having to offer them a drink."
- Fran Lebowitz
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"China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy,
there are still a thousand others exactly like you."
- A. Whitney Brown
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"If only God would give me some clear sign.
Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank."
- Woody Allen
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"Mario Andretti has retired from race car driving.
That’s a good thing. He’s getting old. He ran his
entire last race with his left blinker on."
- Jon Stewart
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"We had a depression fair in the back yard.
A major game there was 'Pin the Blame on the Donkey'."
- Richard Lewis
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"I knew these Siamese twins.
They moved to England so the other one could drive."
- Steven Wright
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"It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to
serve as a warning to others."
- Steven Wright
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"Life is like a box of sardines and we are all looking for the key."
- Alan Bennett
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"Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug."
- Mark Knopfler