Slowing Down...

I am posting quotes on slowing down and resting this morning. This subject is dear to my heart. I was thinking this morning about how hectic Black Friday was. I heard on the news that a gentleman was even trampled to death at a Wal-Mart during "a rush" to get into the doors (which were pulled off their hinges) when they opened. As he was being resuscitated, shoppers were pushing past EMTs to get through the doors, not worrying about the poor gentleman.

My hope is that, as this holiday season is upon as, you take time to savor the moments. I hope you can enjoy the lights, foods, sounds, cooking, parties, holiday cheer, etc. and not get caught up in the haste and panic of the season. Please try to savor each moment and take breaks when you are tired or need to be rejuvenated. I have learned that when I live life slowly and when I take breaks, things actually work out better. My mind becomes clearer and more focused and I am better help for others. Here is wishing you a happy and healthy and loving Christmas and New Year... Val =)

"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and
learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke
is easy and My burden is light."
- Matthew 11:28-30

"Slow down and enjoy life.
It's not only the scenery you miss by
going too fast - you also miss the sense
of where you are going and why."
- Eddie Cantor

“Take rest; a field that has rested
gives a bountiful crop.”
- Ovid Roman

"Slow and steady wins the race."
- Robert Lloyd

"Feeling trapped? Slow down! If you're
having difficulty coming up with new ideas,
then slow down. For me, slowing down has
been a tremendous source of creativity."
- Natalie Goldberg

"Wisely and slow. They
stumble that run fast."
- William Shakespeare

"The art of resting the mind and the power
of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably
one of the secrets of energy in our great men."
- Captain J. A. Hadfield

"I have never taken any exercise
except sleeping and resting."
- Mark Twain

" ...so rest awhile. It will be alright.
No one loves you like I do."
- Third Day, The Rain Comes

"I am a slow walker but I
never walk backwards."
- Abraham Lincoln

Overcoming Quotes...

Overcoming Quotes

"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps
life moving, you lose that courage to be, the quality that helps
you to go on in spite of all. And so today I still have a dream."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"There ain't nothing from the outside
that can lick any of us."
- Margaret Mitchell

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog
in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

"The harder the conflict, the more
glorious the triumph."
- Thomas Paine

"Some minds seem almost to create themselves,
springing up under every disadvantage and working their
solitary but irresistible way through a thousand obstacles."
- Washington Irving

"Comfort and prosperity have never enriched
the world as much as adversity has."
- Billy Graham

"Out of difficulties grow miracles."
- Jean De La Bruyere

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be
so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome."
- Anne Bradstreet

"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm
learning to sail my ship."
- Louisa May Alcott

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries
with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit."
- Napoleon Hill

"All the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of overcoming it."
- Hellen Keller

*dedicated to John K., my hero

Thanksgiving Riddles and Puns and a Joke

Thanksgiving Riddles and Puns

Q: What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
A: If your papa could see you now,
he'd turn over in his gravy!

Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
A: God save the kin.

Q: What key has legs and can't open doors?
A: Turkey.

Q: If April showers bring May flowers,
what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.

Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today,
what would they be most famous for?
A: Their AGE!

Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such FOWL language.

Q: Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Yes - a building can't jump at all.

Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
A: Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.

Q: How can you make a turkey float?
A: You need 2 scoops of ice cream,
some root beer, and a turkey.

Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock.

Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside.

Q: Where did the first corn come from?
A: The stalk brought it.

Q: Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
A: To keep his wigwam.

Q: What happened to the Pilgrim who
was shot at by an Indian?
A: He had an arrow escape.

Q: How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?
A: It hugged the shore.





The man who forgot to buy a turkey for Thanksgiving


It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up
when a man begins pounding on the front door.

"Please let me in," says the man desperately, "I forgot to buy a
turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."

"Okay," says the butcher, "Let me see what I have left."
He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's one last
scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.

"That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" asks the man.

The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits
a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.

"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better.
You better give me both of them!"

From my home to yours, Wishing you and yours a
very warm and wonderful and Happy Thanksgiving!!
Love, Valerie xox

Thanksgiving Humor

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

"The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal,
is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping
and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes
to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma,
and then it takes four hours to clean it up."
- Ted Allen

"Thanksgiving, man.
Not a good day to be my pants."
- Kevin James

"At Thanksgiving, my Mom always makes too much food,
especially one item, like 700 or 800 pounds of sweet potatoes.
She's got to push it during the meal. 'Did you get some sweet potatoes?
There's sweet potatoes. They're hot. There's more in the oven,
some more in the garage. The rest are at the Johnson's.'"
- Louie Anderson

"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.
People travel thousands of miles to be with people
they only see once a year. And then discover once
a year is way too often."
- Johnny Carson

"An optimist is a person who starts a
new diet on Thanksgiving Day."
- Irv Kupcinet

"We're having something a little different
this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey,
we're having a swan. You get more stuffing."
- George Carlin

"You know that just before that first
Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old
Native American woman saying, 'Don't feed them.
If you feed them, they'll never leave.'"
- Dylan Brody

"Thanksgiving is the day when you
turn to another family member and say,
'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom,
after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes,
'Here, kitty, kitty.'"
- David Letterman

"My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving
at her house is a time of sorrow."
- Rita Rudner

"May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!"

- Author Unknown

Being Grateful...

A special friend sent me this in an email. I loved it!
Since it is about being grateful, and it is nearing Thanksgiving,
I thought I would post it. I hope you can take something from it.
Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!! Love, Val xox

Being Grateful

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were
meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to
help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor,
professor, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you
lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life
in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair
at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you
would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love,
lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test
the limits of your soul.

Without these tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved,
straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable,
but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls
you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.

Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the
most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart forgive them,
for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being
cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because
they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how
to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those
moments everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able
to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before,
and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't
believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then
go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

Most importantly, if you love someone tell them, for you never know what
tomorrow may have in store. And learn a lesson in life each day you live!
Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.

Was it worth it?

- M. J. Ryan, Attitudes of Gratitude

Gratitude Quotes, Part II... and Happy Anniversary!...

Gratitude Quotes and a Verse

"You changed my mourning into dancing;
You took off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
That my soul might sing praise to you without ceasing;
O Lord, my God, forever will I give You thanks."
- Psalm 30:12-13

"Reflect upon your present blessings,
of which every man has plenty; not on your past
misfortunes of which all men have some."
- Charles Dickens

"The best way to pay for a lovely
moment is to enjoy it."
- Richard Bach

"Life is a paradise for those who love
many things with a passion."
- Leo Buscaglia

"Don't pray when it rains if you
don't pray when the sun shines."
- Leroy Satchel Paige

"Let us be grateful to people
who make us happy - they are the charming
gardeners who make our souls blossom."
- Marcel Proust

"[The most fortunate are those who] have a
wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again,
freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe,
pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy."
- Abraham Maslow

"There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle."
- Albert Einstein

"I would maintain that thanks are the
highest form of thought, and that gratitude
is happiness doubled by wonder."
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

"I thank God for my handicaps for, through them,
I have found myself, my work, and my God."
- Helen Keller

Wishing my Mom and Dad a Happy 50th Anniversary!!!

I am so, so very thankful that you are my parents!!!!
Love you Daddeeooo and little mommy!!! Love, Val xox

Joke - Thanksgiving Divorce

Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Dallas calls his son, Eddie, in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, "I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are getting a divorce. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more. I am telling you first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister."

When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says, "No way are they getting divorced! I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving."

Julie phones here parents and tells them both, "You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me!" and hangs up.

The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says, "Good news! Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way."

Thanksgiving and Gratitude Quotes

Thanksgiving and Gratitude Quotes

"The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than huts.
No Americans have been more impoverished than these who,
nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving."
- H.U. Westermayer

"Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them,
is the true measure of our thanksgiving."
- W. T. Purkiser

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as
a result of getting something we don't have, but rather
of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."
- Frederick Koenig

"On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit
down to dinner at the same moment - halftime."
- Author Unknown

"What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set
aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets.
I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?"
- Erma Bombeck

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."
- Mother Teresa

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the
highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
- John F. Kennedy

"Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion
each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty."
- Michael Dresser

"A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue,
but the parent of all the other virtues."
- Cicero

"Gratitude is the heart's memory."
- A French Proverb

Thanksgiving Giggles!

Six - Legged Turkey

An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with
breeding to perfect a better turkey.

His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never
enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer
was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store
get-together.

"Well, I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has six legs!!"

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

"I don't know," said the farmer, "I never could catch the darn thing!"




Grocery Store Turkey

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy answered, "No ma'am they're dead."




Bruno

Little Bruno was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen,
watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

"What are you doing?" Bruno asked

"Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey," his grandmother replied.

"That's cool!" Bruno said.
"Are you going to hang it next to the deer?"




Turkey Man

A man said, "Doctor, help me! I can't stop acting like a turkey!"

"I see," said the doctor. "How long have you had this problem?"

"Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954..."

Funny Quotes About Television

Funny Television Quotes

"Television is more interesting than
people. If it were not, we would have people
standing in the corners of our rooms."
- Alan Coren

"MTV is the lava lamp of the 1980's."
- Doug Ferrari

"Seeing a murder on television... can help work off
one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms,
the commercials will give you some."
- Alfred Hitchcock

"Television: A medium. So called because
it's neither rare nor well done."
- Ernie Kovacs

"The one function TV news performs very well
is that when there is no news we give it to you with
the same emphasis as if there were."
- David Brinkley

"On cable TV they have a weather channel -
24 hours of weather. We had something like that
where I grew up. We called it a window."
- Dan Spencer

"Television is to news what bumper
stickers are to philosophy."
- Richard Nixon

"I find television very educating.
Every time somebody turns on the set,
I go into the other room and read a book."
- Groucho Marx

"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth,
inventor of television, we'd still be eating
frozen radio dinners."
- Johnny Carson

Purpose Quotes and Verses

Purpose Quotes and Verses

"I cry out to God Most High, to God,
who fulfills His purpose for me. He sends from heaven and
saves me... God sends His love and his faithfulness."
- Psalm 57:3

"And we know that to them that love God
all things work together for good, even to them
that are called according to His purpose."
- Romans 8:28

"We must not, in trying to think
about how we can make a big difference, ignore
the small daily differences we can make which,
over time, add up to big differences that we
often cannot foresee."
- Marian Wright Edelman

"And thou wilt give thyself relief, if thou doest
every act of thy life as if it were the last."
- Marcus Aurelius

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose."
- Robert Byrne

"Everything's got a moral,
if only you can find it."
- Lewis Carroll

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to
do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."
- Susan Ertz

"My mother said to me, 'If you become a soldier, you'll be
a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope.'
Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso."
- Pablo Picasso

"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
- W. H. Auden

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy
conscience: this is the ideal life."
- Mark Twain

"What is a weed? A plant whose virtues
have not yet been discovered."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Joke - Good at Ice Fishing

Good at Ice Fishing

Two men are out on a frozen lake ice fishing. One man had been out on the lake for over two hours and hadn't gotten a single bite. The other man, about a dozen feet away, had been on the lake for about half an hour and already had almost a bucket-full.

This disturbed the other man greatly, so he walked over to him and asked, "Excuse me, sir, but I'd been out 'ere fer a mighty long time and I ain't caught nuthin'. How do you catch all them fish?"

The other man looked at him and said, "Mummmummhummmummhummhmummm."

"What did you say?"

"Mummhummmummhummmumnmunhumm," mumbled the busy fisherman.

"Sir, you got a speech impediment? I can't hear a darn word yer sayin'!"

The fisherman pointed his finger up, indicating to wait a minute. He pulled and reeled in his line and pulled and reeled in, and he caught another fish.

"OK, darn it. Either tell me now or else," said the angry 'amateur'.

As the 'expert' removed the fish from the hook, he looked at the unfortunate man standing beside him. He put the fishing pole down and took a large wad of something out of his mouth. "You have the keep the worms warm," he answered.

Generosity Quotes

Generosity Quotes

"If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers,
it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no island
cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins to them."
- Francis Bacon

"Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our
own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained
worlds occupied by the needs of others."
- Barbara Bush

"The fragrance always stays in the
hand that gives the rose."
- Hada Bejar

"The most satisfying thing in life is to have been able
to give a large part of one's self to others."
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

"We make a living by what we get,
but we make a life by what we give."
- Winston Churchill

"There is no beautifier of complexion,
or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and
not pain around us. 'Tis good to give a stranger a meal,
or a night's lodging. 'Tis better to be hospitable to his good
meaning and thought, and give courage to a companion.
We must be as courteous to a man as we are to a picture,
which we are willing to give the advantage of a good light."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Generosity is not giving me that which I need more than you do,
but it is giving me that which you need more than I do."
- Kahlil Gibran

"Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege."
- John D. Rockefeller Jr.

"There is a wonderful mythical law of
nature that the three things we crave most in life -
happiness, freedom, and peace of mind - are always
attained by giving them to someone else."
- Peyton Conway March

"The joy that isn't shared dies young."
- Anne Sexton

Joke and Lesson - The Joy of Saying Nothing

The Joy of Saying NOTHING

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Elmer, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Elmer (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know exactly what he was doing!

Elmer, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny... He said nothing.

Later that evening, Elmer quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... walked home... and left it there all night.

You gotta love Elmer!

(Thanks, Sharon!)

Joke - The Cemetery Shortcut

The Cemetery Shortcut

One dark night two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.

Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, mister," one of them said after catching his breath,
"You scared us half to death! We thought you were a ghost!
What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled, "They misspelled my name!"

Funny poem...

The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed 'control and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found online.'
So, if inside your 'Inbox',
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy, Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me.

hope and prayer, please join me...

I have hope for this country with a new President being sworn in this January. Do you? I wanted to let you all know something I have been doing every morning and ask you to join me if you are a person of prayer. Click this link...

77 Days of Prayer for Our New President

If you sign up on the right-hand side, this will come to your email box each morning. It has a verse and a prayer for our new President and his administration. I believe prayer is the best gift we can give someone and can move mountains. Won't you join me and please send the link on to your friends, too. Thanks!!

Veteran's Day Humor

In honor of Veteran's Day here in the U.S, I found this on About.com:

(Note: This was an actual letter sent to a major newspaper)

Dear Editor,

Today is Veterans Day, so I asked someone who had been in the Armed Service what he did in the military. He said, "I was in the Pacific Theater." I asked him if any other GIs were with him. He said "Yes, there were thousands of us in the Pacific Theater." I asked him how much time he spent in the Pacific Theater. He said that he was in the Pacific Theater every day for five months!

I certainly believe that our fighting men need some recreation, but I think that they don't need to be in the movie theater that long. Back in 1944, for example, our boys in uniform were having a tough time on the beaches of Norway - yet there were thousands of GIs off in the movie theater who could have been helping out. And as a Concerned American, I think it is a bit excessive for a serviceman to be at the picture show every day for five months. Of course, all Veterans were not in the Pacific Theater, and we should be proud of those who fought and who made sacrifices.

A Concerned American

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought,

but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
- Albert Einstein

Humor by Red Skelton

Humor by Red Skelton

"Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant,
have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays."

"We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas."

"I take my wife everywhere...
but she keeps finding her way back."

"I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
So I suggested the kitchen."

"We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops."

"She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said, 'There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!', so I bought her an electric chair."

"My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was.
She told me, 'In the lake.'"

"She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off."

"She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,
'Am I too late for the garbage?'
The driver said, 'No, jump in!'"

"Remember: Marriage is the number
one cause of divorce."

"I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her."

"The last fight was my fault, though.
My wife asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust!'"

Quotes and Verses on Music

Quotes and Verses on Music

"Sing to The Lord a new song;
Sing to The Lord, all the earth."
- Psalm 96:1

"Praise The Lord with melodies on the lyre;
make music for Him on the ten-stringed harp.
Sing a new song of praise to Him; play skillfully
on the harp, and sing with joy."
- Psalm 33:2-3, NLT

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"The earth has music for
those who listen."
- William Shakespeare

"Music washes away from the soul
the dust of everyday life."
- Berthold Auerbach

"A painter paints pictures on canvas.
But musicians paint their pictures on silence."
- Leopold Stokowski

"If the King loves music,
it is well with the land."
- Mencius

"Why waste money on psychotherapy when
you can listen to the B Minor Mass?"
- Michael Torke

"Music was my refuge.
I could crawl into the space between the
notes and curl my back to loneliness."
- Maya Angelou (Gather Together in My Name)

"There is nothing in the world so
much like prayer as music is."
- William P. Merrill

"Music is what feelings sound like."
- Author Unknown

"Music is the art which is most nigh
to tears and memory."
- Oscar Wilde

"Music is the universal
language of mankind."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

dedicated to J.B.

Doughboy

You may have seen this joke in your email box before:


Dear Friends:

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following.

Please join me in remembering a great icon.

Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Captain Crunch, and many others.

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough.

They have two children and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.


I went to a Doughboy site and found some interesting information about the ol' boy:


According to the Pillsbury Corporation, the Doughboy is 8 3/4 inches tall, including his hat... and weighs 14 ounces. The Doughboy was originally voiced by actor Paul Frees... "Doughboy" was a slang term for American soldiers during World War I.

His formal name is Poppin' Fresh, the only music he ever performed was rap, he is all dough, he has blue eyes, he always wears a bakers hat and scarf, he originates from Minneapolis, MN, he loves to bake and twenty years ago he had a wife and two pets.

The name of the artist who actually first drew Poppin' Fresh (the Pillsbury Doughboy) was Martin Nodell. Nodell was working for the ad agency at the time, and he is the one who actually conceived of Poppin' Fresh and drew him. Mart Nodell is well known in the comic book world as the creator of the original Green Lantern.

Thanks for the joke, Sharon =)!!

Quotes on Change

Quotes on Change

"He who rejects change is the architect
of decay. The only human institution which
rejects progress is the cemetery."
- Harold Wilson

"If you don't like something change it;
if you can't change it, change the way
you think about it."
- Mary Engelbreit

"All changes, even the most longed for,
have their melancholy; for what we leave behind
us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life
before we can enter another."
- Anatole France

"The man who looks for security, even in the mind,
is like a man who would chop off his limbs in order to have
artificial ones which will give him no pain or trouble."
-Henry Miller

"Change is inevitable -
except from a vending machine."
- Robert C. Gallagher

"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change.
If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change."
- John A. Simone, Sr.

"They must often change, who would be
constant in happiness or wisdom."
- Confucius

"Neither a wise man nor a brave man
lies down on the tracks of history to wait for
the train of the future to run over him."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches,
letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights."
- Pauline R. Kezer

"Change always comes bearing gifts."
- Price Pritchett

"If nothing ever changed,
there'd be no butterflies."
- Author Unknown

Joke - The Mexican Smuggler

The Mexican Smuggler

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike."

The guard detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed,
only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
He releases Juan and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard sees him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy.
It's all I think about... Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

Joke - Another Really Bad Day

Another Really Bad Day

This is an actual bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board:


Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground-and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

Quotes and Verses on Hope

Quotes and Verses on Hope

"For You, O Lord, are my hope,
my trust, O Lord, from my youth."
- Psalm 71:15

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy
and peace in believing, so that by the power
of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."
- Romans 15:13

"If it were not for hopes, the heart would break."
- Thomas Fuller

"The capacity for hope is the most significant
fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of
destination and the energy to get started."
- Norman Cousins

"Hope is like a road in the country;
there was never a road, but when many people
walk on it, the road comes into existence."
- Lin Yutang

"Never deprive someone of hope...
it may be all they have."
- Author Unknown

"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped
all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and
impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because
in spite of everything I still believe that people are
really good at heart. I simply can't build my hopes
on a foundation consisting of confusion,
misery and death."
- Anne Frank

"Hope is passion for what is possible."
- Soren Kierkegaard

"There is no medicine like hope,
no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful
as expectation of something better tomorrow."
- Orison Marden

"Let perseverance be your engine
and hope your fuel."
- H. Jackson Brown Jr.

"Consult not your fears but your hopes and
your dreams. Think not about your frustrations,
but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself
not with what you tried and failed in, but with
what it is still possible for you to do."
- Pope John XXIII

"Hope begins in the dark,
the stubborn hope that if you just show up
and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.
You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."
- Anne Lamott

"Everything that is done in the
world is done by hope."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Most of the important things in the world
have been accomplished by people who have kept
on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
- Dale Carnegie

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
- Walt Disney

"Don't lose hope. When it gets
darkest the stars come out."
- Author Unknown

Joke - A Pirate's Life

A Pirate's Life

An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies, "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off."

"Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?"

"Ahhhh...," mused the pirate, "we were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off."

"Zounds!" remarked the seaman. "And how came ye by the eye patch?"

"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye," answered the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

"Well... " said the pirate, "It was me first day with the hook... "

Funny Election and Political Quotes

Funny Election and Political Quotes

"We always want the best man to win an election.
Unfortunately, he never runs."
- Will Rogers

"I will be glad to reply to or dodge your questions,
depending on what I think will help our
election most."
- George Bush, Sr.

"People never lie so much as after a hunt,
during a war or before an election."
- Otto von Bismarck

"In our brief national history we have shot
four presidents, worried five of them to death,
impeached one and hounded another out of office.
And when all else fails, we hold an election
and assasinate their character."
- P. J. O'Rourke

"The Vice-Presidency is sort of like
the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists
he won't take it, but somebody always does."
- Bill Vaughan

"The wind doesn't bother me.
I'm in the US Senate."
- Bob Dole

"Never vote for the best candidate, vote for
the one who will do the least harm."
- Frank Dane

"They misunderestimated me."
- George W. Bush

Please Vote!