Friday, December 9, 2011

Joke - Santa is a Woman...

Santa Claus is a Woman

Santa Claus is a woman because:

1. The vast majorities of men don't even think about
selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a
last-minute shopping spree.
For a he-Santa, there would be no reindeer because
they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to
the rear bumper of the sleigh.
Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, he would
inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds
and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
For a Santa man, there would be unavoidable delays
in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would
stop to inspect and repaint bricks in the flue.
He would also need to check for carbon monoxide
fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every
Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a
perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
Men can't pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than
caught wearing red velvet.
Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...
having to be seen with all those elves.
Men don't answer their mail.
10. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be
described even in jest as anything remotely
resembling a "bowl-ful of jelly."
Men aren't interested in stockings unless
somebody's wearing them.
12. Finally, being responsible for
Christmas would require a


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