Method Actor
A man went into the pet shop. "I am playing Long John Silver in the
local, amateur dramatic societies version of Treasure Island and
need a parrot to sit on my shoulder," he said.
"I don't have any parrots at the moment, but you wouldn't want a real
parrot for that. It would squawk in all the wrong places, poop on your
shoulder and generally be a nuisance. What you need is a stuffed
parrot. It's just as realistic and easily controlled."
"Are you sure a stuffed parrot would be okay?" asked the customer.
"I do want this performance to be as realistic as possible."
"I am sure a stuffed parrot would be fine," said the pet shop owner.
"I have one at home that I'll bring in. Come back Thursday and you
can have it."
"Sorry," said the customer. "I can't make it on Thursday. That's the
day I'm having my leg cut off."
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