I'm still having problems with my edit buttons.
I think I know what is going on. Give me a couple
of days to have someone fix this for me.  In the
meantime, here is a cartoon from I Can Has
Cheezburger, a site I visit daily and love!
Hugs, Val =)



see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

Joke - The Loan...

I'm having problems posting, everyone, sorry.  And until I figure out
what is wrong, my posts won't be as pretty... sorry =( 
Hope you enjoy today's joke!!  Val =)



The Loan


There was an old Native American who wanted a loan for $500.

The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are you going
to do with the money?"

"Take jewelry to city and sell it," was the response.

"What have you got for collateral?"

"Don't know collateral."

"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the
loan. Have you got any vehicles?"

"Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup."

The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

"Yes, I have a horse."

"How old is it?"

"Don't know, has no teeth."

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled
out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said. He then handed the
banker the money to pay his loan off.

"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"

"Put in tepee."

"Why don't you deposit it in my bank," he asked.

"Don't know deposit."

"You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you.
When you want to use it you can withdraw it."

The elderly man leaned across the desk,
"What you got for collateral?"

Joke - How to Detect a Mental Deficiency...

How to Detect a Mental Deficiency

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his

hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was

most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, doctor," she asked,

"how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears

completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which

anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts

you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around

the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"

The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh,

"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?

I must confess I don't know much about history."

Funny Demetri Martin Quotes...

Funny Demetri Martin Quotes

"I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're

really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you

put on flip-flops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.

Be nice to people in sneakers.'"

"I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I thought,

'That is cool.' But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest

and I thought, 'That is not cool.' Then I figured it out:

'Cool' is all about leather sleeves."

"I was on the street. This guy waved to me, and he came up to

me and said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.'

And I said, 'I am.'"

"I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that

started with the word 'dude'. 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude,

we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so

stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin,

and Turtle, and all my homies.'"

"Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody

can be both a winner and a loser at the same time."

"'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of.

It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything.

But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like...

after 'I love you... or "'You're going to live'...

or 'It's a boy!'"

"I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone

a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just

mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'Huh? What the heck is this?',

but if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'This is nice!'"

"I feel stupid when I write the word banana. Its like, how many na's

are on this thing? Cause I'm like 'Bana... keep going. Bananana... '"

"I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid

confusion, 'cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was

stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some B-batteries.' 'What kind?'

'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries,

that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'"

"I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone'."

Happiness and Contentment Quotes and a Verse...

Happiness and Contentment Quotes

This is the day the Lord has made;

let us rejoice and be glad in it.

- Psalm 118:24

"But what is happiness except the simple harmony

between a man and the life he leads?"

- Albert Camus

"Be absolutely determined to enjoy what you do."

- Gerry Sikorski

"A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life,

for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet

that true joy can live."

- Bertrand Russell

"Men can only be happy when they do not assume

that the object of life is happiness."

- George Orwell

"Make a game of finding something positive in every

situation. Ninety-five percent of your emotions are

determined by how you interpret events to yourself."

- Brian Tracy

"Laughter is inner jogging."

- Norman Cousins

"As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell

the roses, for you only get to play one round."

- Ben Hogan

"Enjoy the journey, enjoy ever moment,

and quit worrying about winning and losing."

- Matt Biondi

"Every minute should be enjoyed and savored."

- Earl Nightingale

"Those who wish to sing, always find a song."

- A Swedish Proverb

"Smile; it increases your face value."

- Dolly Parton