Friday, November 4, 2011

Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

“Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.”
- Lenny Bruce

“I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we
had our own coroner. We used to write essays like:
What I’m going to be if I grow up.”

- Lenny Bruce

"The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can
do that dramatic removal."

- Jim Gaffigan

"Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same."

- Oscar Wilde

"A man in the house is worth two in the street."

- Mae West

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married.
Then he's finished."

- Zsa Zsa Gabor

"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
I got a full house and four people died."

- Steven Wright

"I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.
Now I don't know what to feed it."

- Steven Wright

"Accept that some days you are the pigeon,
and some days you are the statue."

- David Brent

"There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery.
You can't do any business from there."

- Colonel Sanders


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