Rodney Dangerfield funnies...

Rodney Dangerfield

some of Rodney Dangerfield's best lines...

"A girl phoned me the other day and said...
'Come on over, there's nobody home.'
I went over. Nobody was home."

"My father carries around the picture of the kid
who came with his wallet."

"My mother had morning sickness -
after I was born."

"My wife made me join a bridge club.
I jump off next Tuesday."

"I worked in a pet shop and people
kept asking how big I'd get."

"I remember the time I was kidnapped
and they sent a piece of my finger to my father.
He said he wanted more proof."

"Once when I was lost... I saw a policeman
and asked him to help me find my parents.
I said to him... 'Do you think we'll ever find them?'
He said, 'I don't know kid... there are so many
places they can hide.'"

"I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed
a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me
to have a few drinks and get some rest."

Do you have a favorite line? Which one?