Irish Jokes for St. Patrick's Day...

How Many Ducks?

On the bus Paddy got chatting to Murphy who was

carrying a bag on his back.

"What's in the bag?" asked Paddy.

"I'm not going to tell," replied Murphy.

"Go on, do." pleaded Paddy.

"Ah, all right then, it's ducks." announced Murphy.

"If I guess how many ducks you have in the bag, will

 you give me one of them?" enquired Paddy.

"Look," said Murphy, "if you guess the correct number,

 I'll give you both of them."

"Five!" said Paddy triumphantly.

*****

Not Guilty

O'Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank

 robbery.

After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and

 announced, "Not guilty."

"That's grand!" shouted O'Gara. "Does that mean I get to

 keep the money?"