Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"The very existence of flame-throwers proves

that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves,

'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire,

but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"

- George Carlin

"Who decides when the applause should die down?

It seems like it's a group decision; everyone begins to say

to themselves at the same time, 'Well, okay,

that's enough of that.'"

- George Carlin

"Standing ovations have become far too commonplace.

What we need are ovations where the audience members

all punch and kick one another."

- George Carlin

"Room service? Send up a larger room."

- Groucho Marx

"How do you feel about women's rights?

I like either side of them."

- Groucho Marx

"I'd much rather be a woman than a man.

Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes,

and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships."

- Gilda Radner

"Men who have pierced ears are better

prepared for marriage. They've experienced

pain and bought jewelry."

- Rita Rudner

"Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly."

- Rita Rudner

"The more I see of men, the more I like dogs."

- Jeanne Marie Roland

"Mr. Right is coming.

But he's in Africa and he's walking."

- Oprah Winfrey