New Year's Jokes...

New Year's Day Prayer for One and All

Dear Lord,

So far this year I've done well.

I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy,
nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes,
Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need
a lot more help.

Amen.

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A New Year's Wish

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to
get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing
next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost
crushed to death.

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Lecture Tour with A Difference

On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van
in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by
a policeman. "What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?"
asked the police officer.

"I'm on my way to a lecture," answered Roger.

"And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on
New Year's Eve?" enquired the constable sarcastically.

"My wife," slurred Daniel grimly.