Two Halloween jokes...

Stranger At The Window

Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started
it up.

After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and
tapped lightly.

The passenger screamed, "Look at he window. There's an old ghost's face there!"

The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window.

The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said,
"What do you want?"

The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"

The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the
driver, rolling up the window in terror.

A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.

The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedometer
says we're doing 80 now."

All of the sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man
reappeared.

"There he is again," the passenger yelled.

He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"

"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.

The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"

They were driving about 100 miles an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen
and heard, when, suddenly, there came some more tapping.

"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in
stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"

The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"

******

Pumpkin Deterrent

Mrs. Jones was proud of her pumpkin patch, so she was very disappointed when some
of the local kids were taking them to make jack-o-lanterns.

One evening while Mrs. Jones was soaking in the bath, the answer to the pumpkin
thefts came to her. After supper she went out and put up a sign: "Beware, one of
these pumpkins is coated with a special, colorless rat poison!"

A day later. when Mrs Jones checked out her pumpkin patch, she was pleased to see
that no more had been stolen. Then she saw a second sign next to hers which said:
"NOW THERE ARE TWO!!"