More of You Might Be a Redneck If...* Your wife can't fix you dinner because she has cheerleading practice.
* Slamming the door on your truck creates an instant sunroof.
* You paint your car with house paint.
* Stealing road signs is a family outing.
* Fancy eating-out involves drivin' to the next window.
* You have ever financed a tattoo.
* Your side-by-side refrigerator consist of two Igloo coolers.
* Your child's first pet was a chicken.
* You think God looks like Hank Williams, Jr.
* You have more guns than teeth.
* Your baby's first words were "Attention, KMart shoppers".
* You use your belt buckle as identification.
* Your belt buckle is bigger than your head.
* Your family tree doesn't fork.
* You've ever used your fishing license as a form of identification.
* You missed your graduation because your kids were sick.
* You refer to fifth grade as "my senior year".
* Somebody yells "Hoe down!" and your wife hits the floor.
* You mow your lawn and find three junk cars under the weeds.
* Your youngest kid calls you "Uncle Daddy".
* Your church cancels services when deer hunting season opens.
* You trace your family tree and find that somehow
you are your own grandpa.
* You own 5 cars, but only one of them runs.
* Your cousin buys a new house and you have to go help
take the wheels off of it.
Keep the jokes coming! I always appreciate them!
ReplyDeletethere are hilarious! except the few that are well, a little explicit!
ReplyDeletethese are my favorites:
* Slamming the door on your truck creates an instant sunroof.
* Stealing road signs is a family outing.
* You have more guns than teeth.
* Your belt buckle is bigger than your head.
* Your family tree doesn't fork.
* You refer to fifth grade as "my senior year".
* You mow your lawn and find three junk cars under the weeds.
* Your church cancels services when deer hunting season opens.
* You own 5 cars, but only one of them runs.
* Your cousin buys a new house and you have to go help take the wheels off of it.
Oh, I forgot to say, as you know, Valerie, in our neck of the woods they close everything down -- shops, even school for children -- not for deer hunting season, but for bear hunting season! When I moved to PA, I was like, you HAVE to be kidding! I thought everyone was insane. Now it seems right normal to me. No, we are not rednecks, and we do have all our teeth, but we have our guns too, LOL.
ReplyDeleteGod, guns and country, you can keep the change...
krissy knox :)