Fun and Funny Quotes
"This 'Know Yourself' is a silly proverb in some ways:
To know the man next door is a much more useful rule."
- Meander of Athens
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"Life is like a ten-speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears that we never use."
- Charles Schulz
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"Maybe I'm lucky to be going so slowly,
because I may be going in the wrong direction."
- Ashleigh Brilliant
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"Always behave like a duck -
keep calm and unruffled on the surface but
paddle like the devil underneath."
– Jacob Braude
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"If you think you are too small to be effective,
you have never been in the dark with a mosquito."
- Betty Reese
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"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me,
than a frontal lobotomy."
- Tom Waits
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"When I read about the evils of drinking,
I gave up reading."
- Henny Youngman
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"What contemptible scoundrel has stolen
the cork to my lunch?"
- W. C. Fields
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"Insanity doesn't run in my family.
It gallops."
- Cary Grant
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"Psychoanalysis is for hysterical pathological cases,
not for silly rich American women who should be
learning how to darn socks."
- Sigmund Freud
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"No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap."
- Carrie Snow
The Henny Youngman is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteBob: "Every time I watch the news I see something terrible."
Sam: "Don't watch the news."