Rodney Dangerfield funnies...

Rodney Dangerfield

some of Rodney Dangerfield's best lines...

"A girl phoned me the other day and said...
'Come on over, there's nobody home.'
I went over. Nobody was home."

"My father carries around the picture of the kid
who came with his wallet."

"My mother had morning sickness -
after I was born."

"My wife made me join a bridge club.
I jump off next Tuesday."

"I worked in a pet shop and people
kept asking how big I'd get."

"I remember the time I was kidnapped
and they sent a piece of my finger to my father.
He said he wanted more proof."

"Once when I was lost... I saw a policeman
and asked him to help me find my parents.
I said to him... 'Do you think we'll ever find them?'
He said, 'I don't know kid... there are so many
places they can hide.'"

"I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed
a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me
to have a few drinks and get some rest."

Do you have a favorite line? Which one?

Political Quotes...

Political Quotes

"I contend that for a nation to try to tax
itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket
and trying to lift himself up by the handle."
- Winston Churchill

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves
and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
- James Bovard

"A government which robs Peter to pay Paul
can always depend on the support of Paul."
- George Bernard Shaw

"Foreign aid might be defined
as a transfer of money from poor people in rich
countries to rich people in poor countries.
- Douglas Casey

"Giving money and power to government is like
giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
- P.J. O'Rourke

"Government is the great fiction,
through which everybody endeavors to live
at the expense of everybody else."
- Frederic Bastiat

"Government's view of the economy
could be summed up in a few short phrases:
If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.
And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
- Ronald Reagan

"I don't make jokes... I just watch the
government and report the facts."
- Will Rogers

"If you think health care is expensive now, wait
until you see what it costs when it's free!"
- P.J. O'Rourke

"Just because you do not take an interest in politics
doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!"
- Pericles (430 B.C.)

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe
while the legislature is in session."
- Mark Twain

Thanks for the quotes, Merry!

Do you have a favorite quote?
Please remember, these are not MY quotes. LOL
Because I have a quote here does not necessarily mean I agree with it.

Joy, joy, joy!...

Verses and Quotes on Joy

"You make known to me the path of life;
in Your presence there is fullness of joy;
at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
- Psalm 16:11

"Though you have not seen Him, you love Him.
Though you do not now see Him, you believe
in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible
and filled with glory"
- 1 Peter 1:8

"Joy is the most infallible sign
of the presence of God."
- Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

"Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands
and take it when it runs by."
- Carl Sandburg

"Joy is but the sign that creative
emotion is fulfilling its purpose."
- Charles Du Bos

"Joy is very infectious; therefore,
be always full of joy."
- Mother Teresa

"Joy is a net of love by which you can
catch souls. A joyful heart is the inevitable
result of a heart burning with love."
- Mother Teresa

"Joy comes from using your potential."
- Will Schultz

"It is in the compelling zest of high
adventure and of victory, and in creative
action, that man finds his supreme joys."
- Antoine De Saint-Exupery

"Joy is not in things, it is in us."
- Benjamin Franklin

Famous Presidential Quotes...

Since we have been experiencing Presidential conventions
and the election really isn't that far off, I thought I would
give you all some Presidential quotes. Enjoy!...

Presidential Quotes

"One man with courage is a majority."
- Thomas Jefferson

"A little flattery will support a man through great fatigue."
- James Monroe

"The best way to enhance freedom in other lands is to demonstrate
here that our democratic system is worthy of emulation."
- James Earl Carter

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall."
- Ronald Wilson Reagan

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
- Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"It is not strange . . . to mistake change for progress."
- Millard Fillmore

"The storm of frenzy and faction must inevitably dash itself
in vain against the unshaken rock of the Constitution."
- Franklin Pierce

"But I contend that the strongest of all
governments is that which is most free."
- William Henry Harrison

"Do I not destroy my enemies when
I make them my friends?"
- Abraham Lincoln

"I pray Heaven to bestow the best of blessing
on this house (the White House) and on all that shall
hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise
men ever rule under this roof!"
- John Adams

Do you have a favorite quote? Does one really stir you?

Quotes on Humility...

Q

Quotes on Humility

"There is a foolish corner in the
brain of the wisest man."
- Aristotle

"To be secure, be humble.
To be happy, be content."
- James Hurdis

"Don’t mind criticism. If it is untrue, disregard it;
if unfair, keep from irritation; if it is ignorant,
smile; if it is justified it is not criticism, learn from it."
– author unknown

"People who look down on other people
don't end up being looked up to."
- Robert Half

"One must become as humble as the dust
before he can discover truth."
- Mahatma Gandhi

Humorous Quotes and Quotes on Humor...

Humorous Quotes and Quotes on Humor

"I'm outrageously happy in my stupidity!
Don't tell me... I don't want to know... "
- Snoopy
--
"The person who knows how to laugh at himself
will never cease to be amused."
- Shirley Maclaine
--
"The one serious conviction that a man should have
is that nothing is to be taken too seriously."
- Nicholas Murray Butler
--
"There's so much comedy on television.
Does that cause comedy in the streets?"
- Dick Cavett
--
"My life has no purpose, no direction,
no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy.
I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?"
- Charles M. Schulz
--
"Humor is one of the most serious tools we have
for dealing with impossible situations."
- Erica Jong

Verses and Quotes on Peace...

Verses and Quotes on Peace

"Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your
hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid."
- John 14:27

"Great peace have those who love Your law;
nothing can make them stumble."
- Psalm 119:165

"If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful
and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it.
This is the most basic kind of peace work."
- Thick Nhat Han

"Peace is not merely a distant goal we seek,
but a means by which we arrive at that goal."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Never let anyone rob you of your peace."
- C. Rapicano

Quotes on Happiness...

Quotes on Happiness

"At first, I only laughed at myself.
Then I noticed that life itself is amusing.
I've been in a generally good mood ever since."
- Marilyn vos Savant

"The person who knows how to laugh at himself
will never cease to be amused."
- Shirley Maclaine

"The best revenge is happiness."
- Susan Lindt

"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse.
I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
- J.D. Salinger

"The thing with pretending you're in a
good mood is that sometimes you can actually
trick yourself into feeling better."
- Charles de Lint, Memory & Dream