Christmas Jokes...

Denominations


Maria went to the post office to buy stamps for her
Christmas cards.

"What denomination?" asked the clerk.

"Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?" asked Maria. 
"Well, give me 50 Protestant and 50 Catholic, please."

Christmas Present


Pete bought his wife, Thelma, a beautiful diamond ring
as her Christmas present.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, John, his
friend, com
mented, "I thought she wanted one of those
sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"Oh, Thelma did, Pete replied, "But where on earth was
I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Blondes Tree Hunting


There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen
woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of sub-zero temperatures a few close calls
with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and
said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't
care whether it's decorated or not!"

Christmas Humor...

A Divorce for the Holidays

A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before

Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have

to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five

years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?!" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the

father explains. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of

talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell

her, please."

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the

phone, "No way are they getting a divorce! I'll take care

of this!"

She calls Scotland immediately and screams at her father,

"You two are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing

until I get there! I'm calling brother back and we'll both be

there tomorrow. Until then, don't do anything, DO YOU

HEAR ME?!!" and she hangs up.

The elderly man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.

"Done! They're coming for Christmas and they're paying

their own way!"

Click link below for a short and funny interactive joke:

Perfect Couple on Christmas