Joke - Weeweechu...

Weeweechu

It was a romantic full moon when Pedro said,
"Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love
you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon."
replied Rosita.

"Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me?!"

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time,
we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang...

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry
Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a
Happy New Year!"

Christmas Jokes...

Denominations


Maria went to the post office to buy stamps for her
Christmas cards.

"What denomination?" asked the clerk.

"Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?" asked Maria. 
"Well, give me 50 Protestant and 50 Catholic, please."

Christmas Present


Pete bought his wife, Thelma, a beautiful diamond ring
as her Christmas present.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, John, his
friend, com
mented, "I thought she wanted one of those
sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"Oh, Thelma did, Pete replied, "But where on earth was
I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Blondes Tree Hunting


There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen
woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of sub-zero temperatures a few close calls
with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and
said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't
care whether it's decorated or not!"

Santa Humor...

Santa Stats

*  The U.S. has 78 people registered under S. Claus
and one under Kriss Kringle.
*  December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
*  The average wage of a mall Santa is $11 an hour.
With his own beard it's $20 an hour.
*  The weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie
Baby for every kid on earth is 333,333 tons,
*  The number of reindeers required to pull a 333,333 ton
sleigh: 214,206 plus Rudolph.
*  To deliver all his gifts in one night, Santa would have
to make 822.6 visits per second (at 3,00 times the speed
of sound.)
*  At this speed, Santa and his reindeer would
instantaneously burst into flames in Earth's
atmosphere.


There are three stages of life:

1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Claus


Q: How do you know Santa Claus has to be a man?
A: No woman would wear the same
outfit year after year!

Joke - Santa is a Woman...

Santa Claus is a Woman

Santa Claus is a woman because:

 

1. The vast majorities of men don't even think about
selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a
last-minute shopping spree.
2. For a he-Santa, there would be no reindeer because
they would all be dead, gutted, and strapped on to
the rear bumper of the sleigh.
3. Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, he would
inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds
and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
4. For a Santa man, there would be unavoidable delays
in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would
stop to inspect and repaint bricks in the flue.
5. He would also need to check for carbon monoxide
fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every
Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a
perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
6. Men can't pack a bag.
7. Men would rather be dead than
caught wearing red velvet.
8. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...
having to be seen with all those elves.
9. Men don't answer their mail.

10. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be
described even in jest as anything remotely
resembling a "bowl-ful of jelly."
11. Men aren't interested in stockings unless
somebody's wearing them.

12. Finally, being responsible for

Christmas would require a
 commitment.

Joke - How To Cook a Christmas Turkey...

How To Cook a Christmas Turkey

Go buy a turkey.
Take a drink of whiskey.
Put turkey in the oven.
Take another two drinks of whiskey.
Set the degree at 350 ovens.
Take three more whiskeys of drink.
Turk the bastey.
Whiskey another bottle of get.
Ponder the meat thermometer.
Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
Bake the whiskey for four hours.
Take the oven out of the turkey.
Floor the turkey up off of the pick.
Turk the carvey.
Get yourself another scottle of botch.
Tet the sable and pour another
glass of turkey.
Bless the dinner and pass out.