Showing posts with label best Santa Claus jokes and humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label best Santa Claus jokes and humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Santa Humor...



Santa Stats

*  The U.S. has 78 people registered under S. Claus
and one under Kriss Kringle.
*  December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
*  The average wage of a mall Santa is $11 an hour.
With his own beard it's $20 an hour.
*  The weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie
Baby for every kid on earth is 333,333 tons,
*  The number of reindeers required to pull a 333,333 ton
sleigh: 214,206 plus Rudolph.
*  To deliver all his gifts in one night, Santa would have
to make 822.6 visits per second (at 3,00 times the speed
of sound.)
*  At this speed, Santa and his reindeer would
instantaneously burst into flames in Earth's
atmosphere.



There are three stages of life:

1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Claus


Q: How do you know Santa Claus has to be a man?
A: No woman would wear the same
outfit year after year!