Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
So I had to buy them again."
- Steven Wright
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"There's a fine line between fishing and standing
on the shore like an idiot."
- Steven Wright
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"A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who
has never owned a car."
- Carrie Snow
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"Like many women my age, I am 28 years old."
- Mary Schmich
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"My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met."
- Rodney Dangerfield
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"Can you imagine a world without men?
No crime and lots of happy, fat women."
- Nicole Hollander
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"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?"
- Lily Tomlin
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"One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who
wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the
father of the smartest grandchild in the world."
- A Proverb
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"Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic,
and so am I."
- Oscar Levant
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"I believe in getting into hot water.
I think it keeps you clean."
- G. K. Chesterton
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"It is not my fault that I never learned to
accept responsibility!"
- Author Unknown
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"I am the master of low expectations."
- G. W. Bush
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"I really didn't say everything I said."
- Yogi Berra