Joke - Party Entertainment...

Party Entertainment

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter, and had gone all
out - a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party
started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry
for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal
if they would chop some wood for her out back. Gratefully, they
headed to the rear of the house.

The guests arrived, and all was going well, with the children having
a wonderful time. But the clown hadn't shown up. After a half an
hour, the clown finally called to report that he was stuck in traffic
and would probably not make the party at all.

The woman was very disappointed and unsuccessfully tried to
entertain the children herself. She happened to look out the window
and saw one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She
watched in awe as he swung from tree branches, did mid-air flips,
and leaped high in the air.

She spoke to the other bum and said, "What your friend is doing is
absolutely marvelous! I have never seen such a thing. Do you think
your friend would consider repeating this performance for the
children at the party? I would pay him $100!"

The other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. HEY WILLIE!
FOR $100, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?!"



A Vagabond's Song...

A Vagabond's Song

I was baptized by New York City sleet and tempered in

New England snow.

I walked among the ancient rocks and pondered nature's

  hieroglyphs.

I watched the silver snake ford the brook.

  I fought. My spear was inscribed with sacred runes.

  I gather knowledge from books and birds and children at play.

  I respect the mystic myths.

  I know when there's love and when there isn't.

  I can hear the echoes of my struggling ancestors.

  Those who saw me sit and stare and said I was a worthless

dreamer are gone.

I survived the silent sirens.

  Now I sit and stare and while I sit I think, I imagine, I write,

I design, I survive because I can.

There is inexpressible music in my head, poetry in my heart

and a sense of humor in my pocket.

I am a child of the universe.

  I am not worthless.

- written and posted by permission

 from DB at Vagabond Journeys


Please visit DB!  You won't be disappointed!!

Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"Tear my heart out, slow roast me over a fire, pull off my
eyebrows strand by strand, push pins though my fingernails...
do anything to me, anything but a Monday."

- Prabhudoss Samuel

C=

"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took
her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom,
they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'"

- Paula Poundstone

C=

"It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library
and go, 'Aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But
you do the same thing on an airplane, and everyone joins in."

- Tommy Cooper

C=

"If your boss is getting you down, look at him through
the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail."

- David Brent

C=

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

- George Carlin

C=

"My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him...
If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said,
'Alright... you're ugly too!'"

- Rodney Dangerfield

C=

"I don't have a photograph, but you can have
my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks."

- Groucho Marx

C=

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk
comes out of my nose."

- Woody Allen

C=

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled
for a reason."

- Jerry Seinfeld

 

Merry Christmas!...

“For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given;
and the government shall be upon His shoulder,
and His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God, Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.”
- Isaiah 9:6

"Christmas is the harvest time of love. Souls are drawn
to other souls. All that we have read and thought and
hoped comes to fruition at this happy time. Our spirits
are astir. We feel within us a strong desire to serve.
A strange, subtle force, a new kindness, animates man
and child. A new spirit is growing in us. No longer are
we content to relieve pain, to sweeten sorrow, to give
the crust of charity. We dare to give friendship,
service, the equal loaf of bread and love."

- Helen Keller

Christmas Facts

The definition of a white Christmas in England is one
snowflake falling on the roof of the London Weather
Centre in the 24 hours of December 25.

It is considered unlucky to cut a mince pie with a knife.

December 25 was first celebrated as the birthday
of Christ in the year 440 AD.

Christmas wasn’t declared an official holiday in the
United States until June 26, 1870.

There is a Christmas, Arizona and a Christmas, Florida.
In both Arizona and Indiana, there is a town called
  Santa Claus. There is also a Noel, Missouri.

The Germans made the first artificial Christmas trees

  out of dyed goose feathers.

Each year more than 3 billion Christmas cards
are sent in the U.S. alone.

All the gifts in the Twelve Days of Christmas
would equal 364 gifts.

It is estimated that the single “White Christmas” by
Irving Berlin is the best selling single of all time,
with over 100 million sales worldwide.

Christmas purchases account for 1/6 of all
retail sales in the U.S.

Click links below for Christmas fun!

Match Game for Kids

My Favorite Christmas Song

Amazing Christmas Light Show

Make a Virtual Snowflake


I hope you are having a blessed Christmas Day!!
Happy Jesus' Birthday!!  Sending out joy from my
home to yours... Val =)



Joke - Weeweechu...

Weeweechu

It was a romantic full moon when Pedro said,
"Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu."

"Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita.

"Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love
you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon."
replied Rosita.

"Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me?!"

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time,
we'll do Weeweechu."

Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang...

"Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry
Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a
Happy New Year!"