Friendship Quotes...

Friendship Quotes
(Part 3)

"Friendship is a sheltering tree."
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
1

"True friendship is a plant of slow growth."
- George Washington
1

“Friends are helpful not only because they will listen to us,
but because they will laugh at us; Through them we learn a little
objectivity, a little modesty, a little courtesy; We learn the rules
of life and become better players of the game.”
- Will Durant
1

"The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
1

"The finest kind of friendship is between people who expect
a great deal of each other but never ask it."
- Sylvia Bremer
1

"The difference between friendship and love is how much
you can hurt each other."
- Ashleigh Brilliant
1

"A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past,
a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world."
- Lois Wyse
1

"Life without friendship would be like a day without sunshine,
a flower without fragrance."
- Helen Farries
1

"Do not protect yourself by a fence but rather by your friends."
- A Czech Proverb
1

"Count your joys instead of your woes.
Count your friends instead of your foes."
- An Irish Proverb
1

"A man can not be said to succeed in this life who does not
satisfy one friend."
- Henry David Thoreau
1

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together,
keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever."
- A. A. Milne, 'Winnie The Pooh'

Joke - Doctor Gets Advice From Lawyer...

Doctor Gets Advice From Lawyer

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly
interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free
medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer,
"What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out
of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling
slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Joke - A Blonde's Year in Review...

A Blonde's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
Helllloooo!!!... Bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months!
Box said "2-4 years!"

April
Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid... wrong instructions... 8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition... learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm... car swamped
because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is "C"... isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's... they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911, duh... there's no "eleven" button on
the stupid phone!!!

Joke - How They Forecast a Cold Winter...

How They Forecast a Cold Winter

One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked
by his tribal elders if the winter of 2009/10 was going to be cold or mild.
The chief asked his medicine man, but he too had lost touch with the reading
signs from the natural world around the Great Lakes.

In truth, neither of them had idea about how to predict the coming winter.
However, the chief decided to take a modern approach and he telephoned the
National Weather Service in Gaylord, Michigan.

"Yes, it is going to be a cold winter," the meteorological officer told the chief.

Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told the men to collect plenty of
firewood.

A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service and asked for an update.
"Are you still forecasting a cold winter?" he asked.

"Yes, very cold," the weather officer told him.

As a result of this brief conversation the chief went back to the tribe and told
his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.

A month later the chief called the National Weather Service once more and
asked about the coming winter.

"Yes," he was told, "it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."


"How can you be so sure?" the chief asked.

The weatherman answered, "Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes
are collecting wood like crazy."

Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"Kids? It's like living with homeless people.
They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going,
'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!'"
- Kathleen Madigan
=)

"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once,
and by car forever after."
- Peter De Vries
=)

"I really don't think I need buns of steel.
I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon."
- Ellen Degeneres
=)

"I don't plan to grow old gracefully;
I plan to have facelifts until my ears meet."
- Rita Rudner
=)

"Mosquitos remind us that we are not as high up
on the food chain as we think."
- Tom Wilson
=)

"I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability
to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.
That may be. But I think there's another thing that separates us
from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners."
- Jeff Stillson
=)

"The problem with cats is that they get the same look whether
they see a moth or an axe murderer."
- Paula Poundstone
=)

"Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast,
eat your breakfast first."
- Josh Billings
=)

"I like sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I am awake,
you know?"
- Ernest Hemingway
=)

"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are;
because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star.
I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far;
for a might-have-been has never been, but a has was once an are."
- Milton Berle