Shortest Blonde Joke Ever...

Shortest Blonde Joke Ever

Two blondes walked into a building.

You'd have thought at least one of

them would had seen it....

 

Joke - How to Detect a Mental Deficiency...

How to Detect a Mental Deficiency

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his

hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was

most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, doctor," she asked,

"how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears

completely normal?"

"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which

anyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts

you on the track."

"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around

the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"

The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh,

"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?

I must confess I don't know much about history."

Joke - The Blonde Pilot...

The Blonde Pilot

A blonde went to a helicopter flight school insisting she wanted to learn

to fly that day.

As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her

on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio.

He took her out, showed her how to start it, gave her the basics, and

 sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it!

The view is so beautiful and I'm starting to get the hang of this!"

After 2000 feet, she radioed again saying how easy it was becoming.

The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet and was beginning to

worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a

mile away.

He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what

happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got

higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned

off the big fan."

Short, Blonde Jokes...

Short, Blonde Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an AM radio?

It took her 3 weeks to figure out you could play it at night.

**

Did you hear about the 2 blondes that were found frozen to death

at a drive-in theater in their car?

They went to see 'Closed for the Winter'.

**

Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?

She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.

**

Two blondes decided to go to Disneyland. They packed up

and headed out and were driving on the Interstate when

they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.

They started crying and turned around and went home.

**

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking.

One blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther

away, Florida or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says, "Helloooooooooo,

can you see Florida?"

**

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were

approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the

pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth

until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde

employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument

for us? Would you pronounce where we are... very slowly?"

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,

"Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing.”

Joke - A Blonde Buys a TV

A Blonde Buys a TV

A blonde went to her local electrical store to buy a TV. She chose one and
brought it to the salesman.

"I would like to buy this small TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

So the blonde hurried home, put her hair up in a bun, put on a hat, and returned
to repeat to the salesman, " I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the salesman replied for a second time.

"Darn!" the lady exploded, "He recognized me!"

She went for a complete disguise this time - a haircut, new hair color, different
clothes, and she waited a few days until she re-entered the electrical store to
try again.

"I would like to buy this TV," she exclaimed

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the salesman replied.

Angry and frustrated, the lady shouted, "How do you know I'm a blonde?!!"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

Joke - A Blonde's Year in Review...

A Blonde's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
Helllloooo!!!... Bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months!
Box said "2-4 years!"

April
Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid... wrong instructions... 8 cups of
water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition... learned later,
the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm... car swamped
because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is "C"... isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's... they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... instructions said 1 hour
per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911, duh... there's no "eleven" button on
the stupid phone!!!

Joke - Sick of Blonde Jokes...

Sick of Blonde Jokes

One day, a blonde who was very tired of being teased and ridiculed for being blonde,
and was upset with all the blonde jokes, decided to make an appointment for the
the next day with her hairdresser to become a brunette.

She went to the appointment and loved her hair! She thanked the hairdresser, tipped
her, and left.

Driving down a country road, coming home from her appointment, the blonde came
across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheepherder over. "That's a nice
flock of sheep," she said.

"Well thank you," replied the herder.

"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.

"Okay?" questioned the herder.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"
asked the woman.

"Sure," answered the sheepherder.

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382."

"Wow,"said the herder. "That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you
want to take home."

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Upon watching this, the
herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you."

"What is it?" queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"