Joke - 10 Things...

10 Things You Should NEVER Say To
A Woman During An Argument

1. Don't you have some laundry
to do or something?

2. Ohhh, you are so cute when you
get all pissed off.

3. You're just upset because your bottom
is beginning to spread.

4. Wait a minute... I get it. What time
of the month is it?

5. You sure you don't want to consult
the great Oprah on this one?

6. Sorry... I was just picturing you naked.

7. Whoa... time out! Football is on!

8. Looks like someone had an extra bowl
of bit** flakes this morning.

9. Is there any way we can do this
via e-mail?

10. Who are you kidding? We both know
that thing ain't loaded.

Humorous Quotes...

Humorous Quotes

"There are three faithful friends - an old wife,
an old dog, and ready money."
- Benjamin Franklin

"I can resist everything except temptation."
- Oscar Wilde

"I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since
I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
And I'm President of the United States
and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli."
- George Bush

"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children,
sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother."
- Ken Dodd

"One has fear in front of a goat, in back
of a mule, and on every side of a fool."
- Watson Howe

"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot."
- Author Unknown

Which quote above is your favorite? Do you
know any other funny/interesting quotes?
Put in comments section or email! Thanks

Humorous Quotes...

Humorous Quotes

"If you love your job, you haven't
worked a day in your life."
- Tommy Lasorda

"I'm an excellent housekeeper.
Every time I get a divorce,
I keep the house."
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Marriages are made in heaven. But so
again, are thunder and lightning."
- Author Unknown

"Men marry women with the hope
they will never change. Women marry
men with the hope they will change.
Invaribly they are both disappointed."
- Albert Einstein

"To cease smoking is the
easiest thing. I ought to know.
I've done it a thousand times."
- Mark Twain

"I can resist everything
except temptation."
- Oscar Wilde

"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals."
- Winston Churchill

Do you have a favorite?

Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

"A perfect parent is a person with
excellent child-raising
theories and no actual children."
- Dave Barry

"Some people are wise,
others are... otherwise"
- author unknown

"Give a cat a fish and you will feed her
for a day. Teach a cat to fish and she will
wait for you to feed her."
- HBS

"My greatest enemy is reality. I have
fought it successfully for thirty years."
- Margaret Anderson

"You will do foolish things,
but do them with enthusiasm."
- Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

"Happiness is nothing more than
good health and a bad memory."
- Albert Schweitzer

Humorous Quotes...

Humorous Quotes

"I used to have Mad Cow's disease,
but I'm alright Nooooooooow."
- Billy Connolly

"Every fight is a food fight
when you're a cannibal."
- Demetri Martin

"My mom was a ventriloquist and she always
was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought
the dog was telling me to kill my father."
- Wendy Leibman

"I ain't saying the customer service in my bank
is bad, but when I went in the other day
and asked the clerk to check my balance...
she leaned over and pushed me."
- author unknown

"When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an
operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays."
- Henny Youngman

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile
in his shoes. After that, who cares?...
He's a mile away and you've got his shoes."
- Billy Connolly