Joke - Things Not To Say When Stopped By A Cop...

Things Not To Say When Stopped By A Cop...

1. "I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer." (OK in Texas)

2. "Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in."

3. "Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?"

4. "Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!"

5. "Are you Andy or Barney?"

6. "I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police
officer?!"

7. "You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?"

8. "I pay your salary!"

9. "Gee, officer, that’s terrific!! The last officer only gave me a warning, too!"

10. When the officer says, “Gee, son, your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?”
You probably shouldn’t respond with, “Gee, officer, your eyes look glazed.
Have you been eating doughnuts?”

Joke - Driving Through Texas...

Driving Through Texas

Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper.

The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down
the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver asks, “Why’d you do that?"

The trooper answers, “You’re in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you’ll have your
license ready.”

The driver says, “I’m sorry, officer, I’m not from around here.”

The trooper runs a check on the guy’s license, and he’s clean.

He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps
on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him
with the nightstick.

Startled, the passenger asks, “What’d you do that for?”

The cop replies, “Just making your wishes come true.”

The passenger says, “Huh?”

The cop says, “I know that two miles down the road you’re gonna say,
"I wish that sucker would’ve tried that stuff with me!"