A Funny - English is a Crazy Language...

English is a Crazy Language

Let's face it-English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose,
2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy
that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of
history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get
rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter,
perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play
at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim
chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are
opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and
quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and
cold as hell another.

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero
or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was
combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?

And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who
would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity
of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when
the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind
up this essay, I end it.

- Author Unknown -

Pennsylvania...

I have gotten this a couple of times in my email box from fellow-Pennsylvanians and I can
say that this is very true. I grew up in Virginia, but quickly acclimated to the ways of PA
when I moved here 18 years ago. Where are YOU from? What is peculariar about
your state or town?


Talking Pennsylvanian

For those who think we 'talk funny' or use 'big words', here's why...

Once a Pennsylvanian, ALWAYS a Pennsylvanian!

About Pennsylvanians: You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything
but 'Philly' and New Jersey has always been 'Jersey'.

We don't go to the beach, we go 'down the shore'.

You refer to Pennsylvania as 'PA' (pronounced Pee-Ay).
How many other states do that??

'You guys' (or even 'youze guys', in some places) is a perfectly acceptable
reference to a group of men and women.

You know how to respond to the question 'Djeetyet?' (Did you eat yet?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, the Poconos, Tamaqua,
Kutztown,Tunkahannock, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne and Monongahela. also Conshohocken.

And we know Lancaster is pronounced Lank-ister, not Lan-kaster.

You know what a 'Mummer' is, and are disappointed if you can't
catch at least highlights of the parade.

You know what 'Punxsutawney Phil' is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.

At least five people on your block have electric 'candles' in all or most of their windows
all year long. (my next door neighbor has electric candles in his window all year long,
as does my neighbor upstairs. Why? I do not know. LOL)

You know what a 'State Store' is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that
you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart. (I live next door to a state store.)

Words like 'hoagie', 'crick', 'chipped ham', 'dippy eggs', 'sticky buns,', 'shoo-fly pie',
'lemon sponge pie', 'pierogies' and 'pocketbook' actually mean something to you.
(By the way, that last one's PA slang for a purse!)

You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast!) and know others who do the same.
Those from NY find this 'barbaric.' (I can eat anything cold for breakfast.)

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors.

You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak sandwich,
and you know that you also can't get a really good one anywhere outside of the
Philly area. (Except maybe in Atlantic City on the boardwalk.)

You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning
of funnel cake season. (They are so good!)

You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Paradise, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon,
Virginville, Mars, Bethlehem, Hershey, Indiana, Sinking Spring, Jersey Shore,
State College, Washington Crossing, Jim Thorpe, King of Prussia, Wind Gap,
and Slippery Rock are all PA towns ... and the first three were consecutive stops
on the old Reading RR! (PS - That's pronounced Redd-ing).

You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth are.

You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, Maryland or other neighboring states
by their unique and irritating driving habits and their front license plates!

A traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage
on the highway in Lancaster County.

You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
(my daughter hit a deer =( . They can really ruin your car.)

You carry jumper cables in your car and your female passengers know how to use them.

Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.

You know beer doesn't grow in a garden, but you know where to find a beer garden.

You also know someone who lives 'down the lane'.

You actually understand all this and send it on to other
Pennsylvanians or former Pennsylvanians!