Fun and Funny Quotes
"Why do we call them buildings when they're
finished?
Shouldn't they be called builts?"
Shouldn't they be called builts?"
-
Author Unknown
"I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can
get shot while getting shot... "
-
Chris Rock
"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse.
I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
"I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse.
I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."
- J. D. Salinger
"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
- Peter
Vries
"The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so
he can tell when he's really in trouble."
"The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so
he can tell when he's really in trouble."
-
Justine Vogt
"I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow.
He told me to wear a brown tie."
"I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow.
He told me to wear a brown tie."
-
Rodney Dangerfield
"The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out
of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot."
"The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out
of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot."
- Jay Leno
"The road to success is always under construction."
"The road to success is always under construction."
- Lily
Tomlin
"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who
died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."
"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who
died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the
passengers in his car."
- Will
Rogers
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up Button."
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up Button."
- Sam
Levenson
It's hard to pick a favorite but I like the brown tie.
ReplyDeleteD
I always enjoy your funny quotes column, Val! Thanks for making me smile ... and sometimes chortle, chuckle, and downright laugh out loud :)
ReplyDeleteCathy