Back-To-School Jokes...

Back-To-School Jokes

These were collected from Reader's Digest online.

At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade

teachers were named Miss Paine and Mrs. Hacking. One

morning the mother of a student called in the middle of a

flu epidemic to excuse her daughter from school.

"Is she in Paine or Hacking?" the school secretary asked.

"She feels fine," said the confused mom. "We have company

and I'm keeping her home."

- submitted By Merri Lee Colvin

*****

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with i.

Millie: I is ...

Teacher: No Millie. Always say, "I am."

Millie: Okay, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

*****

Walking through the hallways at the middle school where I

work, I saw a new substitute teacher standing outside his

classroom with his forehead against a locker. I heard him

mutter, "How did you get yourself into this?"

Knowing he was assigned to a difficult class, I tried to offer

moral support. "Are you okay?" I asked. "Can I help?"

He lifted his head and replied, "I'll be fine as soon as I get

this kid out of his locker."

- submitted by Helen Button

*****

Danny was hard to miss at our school. A Civil War buff

who forever wore his Confederate overcoat, he was a friend

to all. When he was passed over during the vote for senior

superlatives, many of us were disappointed; surely there

must have been a category suitable for him.

The whole school was pleased, therefore, when the

yearbook adviser surprised us with an additional photo.

There was Danny, decked out in his gray coat, with the

caption: "Most Likely to Secede".

- submitted by Michael G. Stewart

*****

Driving my car one afternoon, I rolled through a stop sign.

I was pulled over by a police officer, who recognized me as

his former English teacher.

"Mrs. Brown," he said, "those stop signs are periods, not

commas."

- submitted by Gail Brown

*****

I'm a high school geometry teacher and I started one lesson

on triangles by reading a theorem. "If an angle is an

exterior angle of a triangle, then its measure is greater than

the measure of either of its corresponding remote interior

angles."

I noticed that one student wasn't taking notes and asked

him why. "Well," he replied sincerely, "I'm waiting until you

start speaking English."

- submitted by Patricia Strickland

*****

While working in the library at a university, I was often

shocked by the excuses students would use to get out of

paying their fees for overdue books. One evening an older

student returned two books that were way overdue and

threw a fit over the "outrageous" $2 fee that I asked her to

pay. I tried to explain how much she owed for each day, but

she insisted she should be exempt. "You don't understand,"

she blurted out. "I didn't even read them!"

- sumbitted by Alison Satterfield