A Funny - Kids Are Quick...

Kids Are Quick

Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
Maria: Here it is.
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Maria.


Teacher: Why are you late, Frank?
Frank: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Frank: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow'.


Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication
on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables.


Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile'?
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: No, that's wrong.
Glenn: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O.
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday, you said it's H to O.


Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I'.
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie, always say, "I am."
Millie: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."


Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his
father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do
you know why his father didn't punish him?
Louis: Because George still had the ax in his hand.


Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly
the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, teacher, it's the same dog.


Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.

- thanks for this, DB (click to visit) !!

Joke - The Final Exam...

The Final Exam

It was the final examination for an introductory English course

at the UW. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to

weed out new students, having over 800 students in the class.

The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were

provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that

any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would

not be accepted and the student would fail.

One-half hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and

asked the professor for an exam booklet. "You're not going to

have time to finish this," the professor said, as he handed the

student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began

writing.

After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the

students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student,

who continued writing.

One-half hour later, the last student came up to the professor

who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He

attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already

there.

The professor snapped, "No you don't. I'm not going to accept

that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and asked angrily, "Do you know

who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with

an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Do you know who I am?" the student repeated.

"No, and I don't care," replied the professor with an air of

superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of

completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and ran out of the

room.