Fun and Funny Quotes
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look
down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
- Winston Churchill
~
"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he
loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent."
- Author Unknown
~
"I am at two with nature."
- Woody Allen
~
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing
through our papers. We are the president."
- Hillary Clinton (commenting on the release
of subpoenaed documents)
~
"If you can't fix it with duck tape
you have'nt used enough."
- Author Unknown
~
"Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries
of a large research staff to study the problem."
- Bill Vaughan
~
"All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand."
- Author Unknown
~
"Beware of the young doctor and the old barber."
- Benjamin Franklin
~
"Just because nobody complains doesn't
mean all parachutes are perfect."
- Benny Hill
~
"Stupidity got us into this mess,
then why can't it get us out?"
- Will Rogers
~
"If you die in an elevator, be sure
to push the Up button."
- Sam Levenson
Fun and Funny Quotes
"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is
simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."
- Albert Einstein
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at
the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
- Mark Twain
"If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun."
- Katharine Hepburn
"If it's not fun, you're not doing it right."
- Bob Basso
"Nature gives you the face you have at 20; it is up
to you to inherit the face you have at 50."
- Coco Chanel
"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is
an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
- George Carlin
"I used to sell furniture for a living.
The trouble was, it was my own."
- Les Dawson
"I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog:
'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'"
- Eleanor Roosevelt
"By the time a man is wise enough to watch
his step, he's too old to go anywhere."
- Billy Crystal
"Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you."
- Winston Churchill
"Man cannot live by bread alone.
He must have peanut butter."
- Bill Cosby
