Showing posts with label church humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Joke - Worm Sermon...




Worm Sermon


A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add
emphasis
to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the
following results:

The first worm in alcohol - dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - dead.

Third worm in chocolate syrup - dead.

Fourth worm in good clean soil - alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation, "What can we learn
from
this demonstration?"

A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said:

"As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate you won't have
worms!"



Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Funny - Church Bulletin Bloopers...





Church Bulletin Bloopers


These sentences (with all the bloopers) actually appeared in
church bulletins or were announced in church services:



The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

<><

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus'.

<><

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.
It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth
keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

<><

Don't let worry kill you off - Let the Church help.

<><

For those of you who have children and don't know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.

<><

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married
on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship
that began in their school days.

<><

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in
the church hall. Music will follow.

<><

At the evening service tonight,
the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

<><

Eight new choir robes are currently needed
due to the addition of several new members and to
the deterioration of some older ones.

<><

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM -
prayer and medication to follow.

<><

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet
in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is
invited to attend this tragedy.

<><

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.