A Funny - New Words For The Dictionary...

New Words For The Dictionary

accordionated (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and re-fold

a road map at the same time.

aquadextrous (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the

bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

aqualibrium (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking

fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from

having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

burgacide (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more

torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

buzzacks (buz' aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up

display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the

phones are not connected.

carpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of

running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching

over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give

the vacuum one more chance.

dimp (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by

asking, "Do you work here?"

disconfect (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped

on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will 'remove' all

the germs.

ecnalubma (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in

the rearview mirror.

eiffelites (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the

movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

elbonics (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one

armrest at a movie theater.

elecelleration (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more

you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the

dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally

decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

lactomangulation (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the 'open here'

spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal side'.

peppier (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole

purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want

ground pepper.

phonesia (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and

forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

pupkus (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog

presses its nose to it.

telecrastination (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the

phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only

six inches away.