Fun and Funny Quotes...

Fun and Funny Quotes

"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with

a sling shot."

- Rodney Dangerfield

"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot,

but I always found them."

- Rodney Dangerfield

"Walking isn't a lost art. One must, by some means,

get to the garage."

- Evan Esar

"It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together,

but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over

the highway."

- Evan Esar

"If I did not wear torn pants, orthopedic shoes,

frantic, disheveled hair, that is to say, if I did not

tone down my beauty, people would go mad.

Married men would run amok."

- Brenda Weland

"Choose a wife by your ears, not your eyes."

- A French Proverb

"Marriage is a great institution,

but I'm not ready for an institution."

- Mae West

"Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse."

- Groucho Marx

"I could dance with you 'til the cows come home.

On second thought, I'll dance with the cows 'til

you come home."

- Groucho Marx

"He who kisses girl on hillside is not level."

- Confucius

"C is for cookie, it's good enough for me;

oh cookie, cookie, cookie starts with C."

- Rodney Dangerfield

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