Thoughts to Ponder
* A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
* On the other hand, you have different fingers.
* I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
* 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
* 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
* I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
* Honk if you love peace and quiet.
* Remember half the people you know are below average.
* Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
* Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
* The early bird may get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and
drink whatever comes out?"
* If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a song about him?
*How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,
but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there?
I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its bottom."
* Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
* Can a hearse carrying a body drive in the carpool lane?
* If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
* Do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle,
Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
* Stop singing and read on...
* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window?
* Does pushing the elevator button more than once
make it arrive faster?
* Spotted on the back of a t-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad:
"If you see me running, try to keep up."
* Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
* Why don't we ever see this headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
* Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
* Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
* Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
* Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack, anyway?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Can you add any?
