More Funny Quotes from Reader's Digest
These can be found at Reader's Digest online.
"I think the Discovery Channel should be on a
different channel every day."
- Craig Sharf
"My friend is a procrastinator.
He’s afraid of Saturday the 14th."
- Craig Sharf
"The meek shall inherit the earth...
if it's okay with the rest of you."
- Don Ainey
"Apéritif: French for 'a set of dentures'."
- Author Unknown
"I already regret my choice of Juilliard
to win the NCAA."
- Shap Sweeney
"Our hometown baseball team is called the Possums.
They get killed on the road."
- Richard Klimkiewicz
"My father is allergic to cotton. He has pills that he
can take, but he can't get them out of the bottle."
- Brian Kiley
"I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone."
- Stewart Francis
"It's always weird to meet your stunt double.
It's like looking into a mirror where the other
you took care of yourself."
- Actor/Comic Brian Posehn
"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic,
insomniac? He stayed up all night trying to
decide if there really was a dog!"
- Jack Gray
"What does zero say to eight? 'Nice belt'"
- Traci Ohren
"Did you hear about the self-help group for
compulsive talkers? It's called On & On Anon."
- Sally Davis
"Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy."
- Savanna Smith
