More of You Might Be a Redneck If...

More of You Might Be a Redneck If...

 You hid Easter eggs under cow pies last year.

 Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People".

 You've got more than one brother named Darryl.

 Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.

 You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

 Your dad calls you "Chip" and walks you to school because
you are both in the same grade.

 You need one more hole punched in your card to get a
freebie at the House of Tattoos.

 You have plastic flowers in a bathroom fixture in your
front yard.

 You can't get married to your sweetheart 'cause there's
a law against it.

 Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".

 Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

 You can smash a beer can on your imaginary friend's
forehead, and it works!

 You leave beer and pickled pig's feet for Santa.

 You spelled something wrong out in Christmas lights.

 You go up a water tower with a can of paint to protect
your sister.

 You have a deer head anywhere in your vehicle.

Can you add any?

More of You Might Be a Redneck If...

More of You Might Be A Redneck If...

* You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table
in front of her kids.
* The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending
on how much gas is in it.
* You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
* You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
* Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey guys, watch this... "
* You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
* Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
* You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are,
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
* The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
* You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
* One of your kids was born on a pool table.
* You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at
The House of Tattoos.
* You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
* The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
* You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
* You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
* You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
* Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
* Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
* You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
* You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
* You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
* You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
* You have a rag for a gas cap.
* Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
* You can spit without opening your mouth.
* You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
* Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
* You have a complete set of salad bowls that say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
* The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
* Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
* You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
* A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
* You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
* You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
* You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.