Audrey Hepburn Quotes...

Audrey Hepburn Quotes


"Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really
start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book,
and remembering - because you can't take it in all at once."


"Paris is always a good idea."


"If I get married, I want to be very married."


"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm.
As you get older, remember you have another hand. The first is to help
yourself, the second is to help others."


"It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and
you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up.
Others matter more than you do, so 'don't fuss, dear; get on with it.'"


"If I'm honest I have to tell you I still read
fairy-tales and I like them best of all."


"I believe in manicures. I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at
leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is
the best calorie burner. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls...
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."


"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips,
speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge
that you are never alone."


"People even more than things, have to be restored, renewed,
revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone."


"I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine."

Joke - Visiting the Zoo...

Visiting the Zoo

Three mischievous boys skipped school one day and instead went
to the zoo for an outing.

They decided to visit the elephant cage first, but soon enough,
they were picked up by a zoo security officer for causing a
commotion.

The officer hauled them off to the Security Office for
questioning.

The supervisor in charge asked each of them to give their names
and explain what they were doing at the elephant cage.

The first boy innocently said, "Okay, my name is Gary, and I
was just throwing peanuts into the cage"

The second added, "My name is Larry, and all I was doing was
throwing peanuts into the elephant cage."

The third boy was a little more shaken up than his buddies and
said:

"Well, my name is Peter, but my friends call me Peanuts... "

Joke - My Father Wouldn't Like It...

My Father Wouldn't Like It

A clergyman is walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer
struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You
look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and
I'll give you a hand."

"No thanks," said the young man, "my father wouldn't like it."

"Don't be silly," the minister replied. "Everyone is entitled to a break.
Come and have a drink of water."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset.
Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a
real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him
a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the hay."

Joke - Kid's Live Truths...

Kids' Life Truths

1. When your mom is mad at your dad,
don't let her brush your hair.

2. If your sister or brother hits you, don't hit back.
Your parents always catch the one who hits back last.

3. Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold an egg.

4. Never trust a dog to watch your food.

5. Don't let your two-year-old brother cut your hair.

6. Doggies always have bad breath even
after eating a breath mint.

7. School lunches are not always nutritional.

8. School lunches often stick to the wall.

9. You can't hide your vegetables in a glass of milk.

10. You can't hide your vegetables under the table for the cat
or dog to eat - without getting punishment in your room.

11. You must always wear nice underwear in the car in case
you get in a car accident and everyone has to see it.
Grandma says so. Even Aunt and Mom sometimes agree.
What you wear outside the car is virtually unimportant,
just as long as nobody sees it.

Funny Steve Martin Quotes...

Funny Steve Martin Quotes


"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."


"I saw the movie, ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’ and
I was surprised because I didn’t see any tigers or dragons.
And then I realized why: they’re crouching and hidden."


"Some people have a way with words...
some people... not have way."


"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."


"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders.
I hate necks."


"She had the personality of a ZIP code in Kansas!"


"A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more
than two hours working on his hair."


"First the doctor told me the good news:
I was going to have a disease named after me."


"How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars."


"We've had some fun tonight considering
we're all gonna die someday."