A Funny - Why We Love Children...

Why We Love Children

Nudity
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.
She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing
a seat belt!"

Opinions
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents."

Ketchup
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer it.
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
hitting the bottle."

More Nudity
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

Police
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and I saw a little boy staring in at me.
"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.
"It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

Dress-Up
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear
that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

The Bible
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out. He picked up the
object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear!"

Kids Are Funny...

Kids are Funny

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was
so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember
you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say 'five to six'".

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mum good night. "I love you so much
that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in
vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mum explained
it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with
wonder, the little girl asked, "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't
give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked,
"How much do I cost?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mum asked
what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen
with this bedwhen I get married. How will my wife fit in it?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read, "The man named
Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his
wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James
asked, "What happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled
woman her Mum knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why
doesn't your skin fit your face?"

I think this Mum will never forget this particular Sunday sermon...
"Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended towards heaven and a
rapturous look on his upturned face, "Without you, we are but dust... "
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who
was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little
four year-old girl voice, "Mum, what is butt dust?"