Joke - Whose Duck?

Whose Duck?

Visiting the countryside on a hunting trip, a well-dressed, city man

takes aim and shoots a duck. But the fowl drops into a farmer's field,

and the farmer claims it.

Since both want it, the farmer suggests settling the dispute with an

old fashioned hick-kick. "I kick you as hard as I can, then you do the

same to me," he explains. "Whoever screams the least gets the bird."

The city man agrees. So the farmer winds up and delivers a crushing

blow to the man, and he collapses to the ground. Twenty minutes later,

when he finally manages to stand, he gasps, "My turn."

"Nah," says the farmer, turning away. "You can keep the duck."

Joke - Get Away From My Deer...

Get Away From My Deer

It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag
the first deer of the season. He walked down to the kitchen to get a cup of
coffee, and to his surprise he found his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed
in camouflage.

Jake asked her, "What are you up to?"

Alice smiled. "I'm going hunting with you!"

Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decided to
take her along. Later they arrived at the hunting site. Jake set his wife
safely up in the tree stand and told her, "If you see a deer, take careful
aim and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot."

Jake walked away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag
an elephant, much less a deer. Not ten minutes passed when he was
startled as he heard an array of gunshots.

Quickly, Jake ran back. As he got closer to her stand, Jake heard Alice
screaming, "Get away from my deer!"

Confused, Jake raced faster towards his screaming wife. And again he heard
her yell, "Get away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire!

Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake was surprised to see a
guy standing there with his hands high in the air. The guy, obviously
distraught, said, "Okay, lady, okay!!!! You can have your deer!!! Just let
me get my saddle off it!"