Silly Signs...

Silly Signs

Computer Humor...

Actual "Call Center" Calls

Caller: "I've been calling 700 -1000 for two days
and can't get through. Can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Caller: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

* * * * * * * *

Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you
are talking about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the User Guide it clearly states
that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall
socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can
you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

* * * * * * * *

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Caller: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Caller: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Caller: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until this point?"
Caller: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

* * * * * * * *

This is actual dialogue from the WordPerfect Help-line, which was
transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble?"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing?"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around
the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when
it's on?"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and
find where the power cord goes into it. Can you
see that?"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice
that there were two cables plugged into the back of it,
not just one?"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is?"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and
lean way over?"
Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -
it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is
coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not?"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got
it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals
and packing stuff that your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and
pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back
to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"