Funny Election and Political Quotes

Funny Election and Political Quotes

"We always want the best man to win an election.
Unfortunately, he never runs."
- Will Rogers

"I will be glad to reply to or dodge your questions,
depending on what I think will help our
election most."
- George Bush, Sr.

"People never lie so much as after a hunt,
during a war or before an election."
- Otto von Bismarck

"In our brief national history we have shot
four presidents, worried five of them to death,
impeached one and hounded another out of office.
And when all else fails, we hold an election
and assasinate their character."
- P. J. O'Rourke

"The Vice-Presidency is sort of like
the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists
he won't take it, but somebody always does."
- Bill Vaughan

"The wind doesn't bother me.
I'm in the US Senate."
- Bob Dole

"Never vote for the best candidate, vote for
the one who will do the least harm."
- Frank Dane

"They misunderestimated me."
- George W. Bush

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Quotes on Humor...

Quotes on Humor

"At first, I only laughed at myself.
Then I noticed that life itself is amusing.
I've been in a generally good mood ever since."
- Marilyn vos Savant

"The thing with pretending you're in a
good mood is that sometimes you can actually
trick yourself into feeling better."
- Charles de Lint, Memory & Dream

"Joy is not in things, it is in us."
- Benjamin Franklin

"Life can be wildly tragic at times, and
I've had my share. But whatever happens to you,
you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the
final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh."
- Katherine Hepburn

"I've never had so much fun as I'm
going to have tomorrow!"
- Dennis the Menace

Quotes on humor and happiness...

Quotes on Humor and Happiness...

Mirth is God's medicine. Everybody
ought to bathe in it."
- Henry Ward Beecher


"If I ever stop laughing, I'm dead."
- Tom Knapp

"I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter,
the sound of which has always seemed to me
the most civilised music in the world."
- Peter Ustinov

"The best things in life are silly."
- Scott Adams, Dilbert

"Happiness isn't good enough for me!
I demand euphoria!"
- Calvin (Bill Watterson)

Quotes on Laughter...

Quotes on Laughter

"Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back
from an event, deal with it and then move on."
- Bob Newhart

"If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."
- Jimmy Buffet

"Even if there is nothing to laugh
about, laugh on credit."
- author unknown

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find
no common denominator, but among those whom
I love, I can: all of them make me laugh."
- W. H. Auden

"We cannot really love anybody
with whom we never laugh."
- Agnes Repplier